A SECRET + A CHANGE

Here's a secret: I've been in a bit of a blogging slump lately and haven't known what to do about it. I disappeared for most of this week unannounced and felt really guilty about it, but then I remembered that guilt isn't a productive emotion and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. And then, after battling conflicting feelings of obligation vs. being true to myself, a ray of clarity came to me.

Here's the thing, I have to talk about interiors all day long for work. On conference calls, with colleagues and contributors, in emails, at conferences, and to advertisers. And I love it, I truly do. In fact, not a day goes by that I don't feel overcome by gratitude in my heart for the gift of Rue in my life, which is nothing short of a dream job. But because I am surrounded by design for work, I find myself wanting to experience, create, and observe interiors privately and personally in the hours outside of those duties. To get that back for myself, you know?

And while my love for design is a huge part of my life and how I experience the world, I'm ready to share some of the other parts of me that make my world go round. Sharing those intimate thoughts a few weeks back on my birthday was a very special and eye opening experience for me. Really, you have no idea what your comments meant to me. I've read and re-read each and every one of them and have wished I could give hugs to all of you.

You helped me realize that that's the type of writing that I love. And have given me the courage to share more of it. What you saw in that post was a glimpse of the real me: someone who is introspective, feels deeply, and is sees beauty all around, even in the pain.

So I'm taking Sextus the Pythagorean's advice that "the wise man is always similar to himself," and have decide to be a little more true to myself with this space. Anything less would be stifling of the spirit and unfair to you. I think I sometimes forget that I have control over making this space all my own and fall victim to writing about what I think I'm supposed to blog about. I've also decided to lift from myself that burden of obligation to post every day and remove any guilt when I'm unable to do so.

I'm not really sure where this will take me, but what you can expect from me is posts that come from the heart about the things that truly inspire me when they inspire me (maybe daily, maybe every other day, maybe weekly...). That might mean me sharing a space that makes my heart skip a beat, a poem that takes my breath away, or musing on my latest self-discovery. Am I afraid that I may lose some readers with this new direction? Of course! ...But I've never been one to let fear dictate my decisions :)

Have a truly wonderful weekend, my friends. Thank you for still being here with me.

xo,

Crystal

*images: Marie Claire Italia via Fashion Gone Rogue